last one

I’ve been thinking about whether or not I ever did actually just say I’m sorry. Too little too late perhaps but I’m not quite sure, so without any ulterior motive, I’m sorry for not respecting or validating your feelings as I should have, and for being cold/punishing especially after we fought, and for perhaps not always treating our relationship with the respect I should have.
I mean it sincerely, almost two years on and believe me, I am still quite rueful over it all.
Every few months I send a lengthy email to whichever one of your email addresses I can try to remember telling you all the things I wish I could tell you. About my travels, about how I live on an island in the pacific and how I became a chef at a bullshit 5 star hotel resort place, and the friends i’ve made and all manner of things, but this will be the last one, Id hate to be a bother.
Often, I day dream about running into you on the street. In the dream, I never say anything, I simply lift up my phone and show you my lockscreen is still a picture of us from that day sitting in front of the lake that summer, (sometimes it’s a picture from that sunrise at denny’s)  and then I walk away.  
Anyhow, I hope you’re keeping in good health at the very least. I’ll be returning to the states soon, chicago for a year then maybe california or washington, Im sure no matter where I go I’ll still always be looking out for you on the street.
If this somehow makes its way to you, and for some reason you ever want to just talk to me, I’ve changed my number a bunch but right now it’s +1 ***-***-5060, I’ll keep this number forever just in case.
It’s been a while since I dreamt about you, but I do still love you, and it seems I’m incapable of loving anyone else in an honest way, or in a way that they’d deserve, and so I’ve given up on love entirely.

Live a good life!
I promised when we were together that one way or the other you’d be my last one and I guess I meant it!

hey remember when we had matching luffy and zoro pfps? still makes me smile when i remember it.

really hope you’re alive.