i’m going to hell full of love

you should know, it’s not that you were inadequate or lesser than, in fact you and i were more compatible in some significant ways. it’s just that she was the same sort of “psychopath” i am. if you can imagine what it’s like to spend your whole life on the outside looking in, and to finally meet someone who was the same as you in all your worst ways, the same depth and darkness of heart. after decades of hiding and confinement, to find freedom in another was impossible not to pursue. you were better for me, but she WAS me. ironically, karmically, and quite humorously, i’ve been suffering the effects of my own medicine at the hands of someone else the last two years. to be on the other side of the fence so to speak. 

it wasn’t your fault, and there’s not much you could have done really. 

be good, i’ll miss you.