for Yujin upon eventual notice of me biting the dust

we were watching one piece together. there’s an ongoing gag throughout the whole series where the main character (Luffy) is impossibly bad at remembering names of anyone who isn’t his friend, especially when it’s a villain.

there was a character i quite like in that episode we were watching, this very tall,impossibly thin woman with a stereotypical witch nose and scar across her face. very much a pathetic lovable villain sort. her name was Brûlée, but of course, Luffy being Luffy could not for the life of him remember or pronounce her name correctly so he just referred to her as “branch” cus she was long and skinny like a tree branch (bit dickish of him but i’m laughing even now recalling it)

at some point in the arc, the two become stuck together for several episodes and the gag goes on; Luffy would say “hey branch!” and she’d yell back angrily “it’s not branch, it’s brûlée!!!” so on and so forth.

i think you realized i laughed every time it happened so you memorized the phrase as they said it in the show, in japanese and everything and you’d say it and i’d die laughing. it was somehow even funnier to me coming from you.

“wait do it again”

“oi eda! Brûlée dayooo!!!”

and i’d giggle and giggle and giggle uncontrollably, i laughed like a baby!

most of the time i do this very exaggerated HA HA HA evil cartoon villain laugh because im embarrassed about the way i laugh. the last time it happened before then was in 2015 when i got too high to be able to hide it while smoking with my first girlfriend and my best friend at the time.

she said “oh my god that’s soo cute” i was very obsessed with being as manly and serious as possible at the time so i felt terribly insecure and checked myself every time i laughed but you brought it out of me again.

i laughed and laughed and laughed and you did it as many times as i asked without ever getting frustrated or annoyed.

that’s the last time i felt like myself, just myself, that lazy afternoon in bed with you.

i read something somewhere “you spend enough time licking your wounds and you’ll develop a taste for blood.”

i’m sorry i didn’t know what to do with all the kindness and sweetness you offered me.

i hope life is wonderful to you.

you were always my first and last thought.

post script.

hey yknow i still say “jijipong!!” every time the opportunity comes up and no one gets it! and i miss you every time it happens!

hey it’ll be your birthday very soon! the holidays are always terribly difficult for me but that’s one bright spot. happy early birthday! i love you forever!