Adagio For A Butterfly’s Last Dreaming

“𝕴 𝖆𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖌𝖔𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖆𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖋𝖎𝖈𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞.”

“men will kill something good just to have control of the corpse! well here you go! have it! have your control!”

Post.Script.

I dreamt of walking through the streets of France with a girl named after coffee. We must have met on the plane and decided to spend our time there together.

I was beyond enchanted when she told me that her name was seriously Coffee! Im really not sure why it had such an effect on me.

As we talked, I spun and danced around her lazily, asking her anything and everything about herself.

Near the top of the slight hill we were walking on, I looked at her and said “when this is all over I’ll be devastated.” She looked at me with her sparkling ocean eyes and she smiled at me saying nothing.

Suddenly,Kristina, someone I went to middle school with walked by and said

“why don’t you just enjoy it now, the moment, while you have it!?” like she was annoyed at me and this nonsense thought pattern I wrap myself up in so constantly.

I looked at Coffee, she was still smiling at me.

I’m a sucker for dimples… when I saw hers appear all I could think was “oh well!” diving headfirst once more into love.

I woke up with an intense aching feeling in my chest. For a few moments in time I was sincerely mourning the girl named Coffee. The pain…that same pain I suffocated under for two years!

I wonder what’s wrong with me that I usually can’t feel much of anything at all but when I do, it’s deep and intense over nonsense like this.

For the few seconds I existed in that dream, I was truly deeply in love, something I never thought could happen. The pain that stayed with me for so long after waking reminded me that I indeed should never let it happen again.

When I awoke, I had a message from a number I didn’t recognize, it said “hallo it is ☕️ (coffee emoji)” I started at it dumbfounded for what felt like an eternity until I realized it was actually a tea emoji, and it was my friend Thi texting me, I had passed along my new number to them and hadn’t saved their number just yet.

Still though what a coincidence right? I mean what are the odds? is it a coincidence? is it an omen? a sign? did I dream the future again? have my powers returned? has God turned his face towards me once mo—

Ah. There I go again, slipping into delusion, losing touch with reality.

Coffee, Adelaide, and the mysterious Persian girl with emerald eyes I dreamt of as a child.

Am I the one dreaming them? are they dreaming me? perhaps that would explain all of my splintered minds and the dissonant whispers within. It would be much better if I’m not real and they’re dreaming me up. If this was all some sort of dream…

But why would anyone dream up a creature like me?