choose life at 10:09pm in Chicago.

i’ve spent a long time mourning myself

it’s been a very long time since i’ve felt any sort of good consistently.

today i was thinking, i can just choose to live! i can choose life! my life can begin soon! it was devastating because as much as i said it loudly to myselves, i just didn’t really believe it.

still.

even though my knee seems to be seriously damaged, my heart seems to be failing, my mind doing whatever this is, i choose life.

i don’t know why, it’s less cool and not the perfect flourishing punctuation to the tragedy that has been my life.

still.

choose life.

i can’t smile genuinely still but

yeah.

“this is the part where a tragic accident kills them, us. it’s a great punchline, once you choose to live you die. though, choosing to live is a lie that will only last until the next storm, watch.”