you must turn from the ruin

i occasionally get letters from some of you, expressing darker sentiments. im very glad you feel i’m someone who can understand and relate to some degree, but i want to tell you guys, hypocritical of me though it is, you have to move forward.

you have to.

you’re all still so young and full of promise and potential! i know how it sounds for me of all people to be saying this, i know the irony is palpable and the hypocrisy runs thick, i know.

but i mean it and im right!

i have blown many chances and wasted many opportunities, but you guys are just getting started! the world is yours!

it is winter for me, my body is falling apart, and my endless reserves of tenacity and willpower indeed seem to have reached their end. i have tried hard, consistently!! constantly!! for two decades and some change!

i don’t say this for pity or in a maudlin way, the reality of the situation is that im a huge loser! broke! broken! do not look up to someone like me! do not emulate me!

there on the horizon the sun is shining, you must go and see the wonderful colors like i already have!

go! don’t wallow! go go go go go! if you have to be here enjoy it! you can walk you can run you can smile you can dance you can fuck you can do all of it despite how horrid a state the world is in! i did! i did all those things despite being such a sorry excuse for a human! you have to go out and do more because you guys are so much more!

i believe in you! turn away from me! turn from the ruin! turn and go forward! do it for you, if not, do it for everyone else who is like you!

i love you! we won’t talk again!

goodbye!

godspeed!

“𝕺𝖋 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖘 𝕴’𝖛𝖊 𝖒𝖊𝖙, 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖙. “