superstition only affects the superstitious

ah

hmm

so one time, one night after a particularly explosive fight with mother. we were sitting on the front stairs- by we i mean just us not us and mom- anyway, we were sitting on the couch and it was all just building up yknow

just getting to be too much. so… we prayed to anything as we often do like just

please please just anything out there just please give us a sign any sign just please

really desperate yknow, just for anything, anything at all

the car just magically starts up by itself.

woah! yknow?! how strange!

turns out mom had just used the remote starter from the second floor, it was almost time for her to leave for the night shift.

no sign just coincidence, or maybe that was the sign, probably not.

superstition only affects the superstitious.

lately, for the last few months, this idea has slowly, repeatedly tried nesting its way into our head. that our family is cursed, that our life is cursed.

i have to admit, it really feels that way sometimes.

it’s been years and years since she died but, i’m only just now starting to miss my grandma.

post script

i had a dream about mom’s health and white lights. i think it was signaling about her death maybe. i hope not. i think i need to sleep for a long time and let someone else do the work.

if only.

that would be nice.

sorry if i stop responding to messages, they’re taking me away again.