A question for you reading this

Is it a fight?

Against yourself, is it a fight? For me it is. To make the right decisions, to choose “good”, to be a decent person. It’s active work for me. How do you make peace with your demons when they have aims and motivations completely contrary to yours?

“I want to eat.”

I sometimes want to tear off my skin because it’s so difficult to resist. I want to be kind, gentle, generous and chaste. I also want to eat.

i want to eat

i want to eat

i want to eat

i want to eat

post script.

I discovered tonight that I really love washing my hands. Slowly, thoroughly, not just my hands but my forearms as well. Gently, gently, in between the spaces of each finger, the circular motion down the forearms, then scratching the palms to make sure soap gets under the nails. I love it. I love it so much. It’s meditative, it’s passionate, it’s sensual, a little arousing even. Wash, wash wash, wash wash wash wash. I love washing my hands.